Three Weeks One Step

TODAY was the first day we've had what felt like a good step forward in his treatment. It was also our first official family session with his counselor, as opposed to the multitude of group sessions we've attended with several other clients & families. 

He was open about his feelings, as best as he could be, and is appearing to begin to see how much destruction he has caused just by separating himself from his problems with substances or distance. I'm fully prepared for there to be several steps backwards, before we get a lot further along, but today was a really big thing, and I'm hoping that the momentum continues.

He has learned that it's ok to say what hurts him, and that we will not choose to get offended or to overreact. He has learned that just because people don't want to talk to him, it doesn't mean that HE has a problem or that he's a reject. He has learned that people who really care, will get all up in his business because he's totally worth it. He verbalized that getting things doesn't make him feel loved, but spending time and feeling heard sure does. He identified being positively affirmed as a really strong need. He has learned that the reason I won't engage in his verbal lashings is not because I don't care, or am afraid of him or I'm weak, but because I have boundaries and he needs to respect them before we can talk constructively or positively (and also before he can transition back into our home). He is beginning to want to earn trust back, and expresses a desire for honest, yet gentle, communication.

All of these things are huge for him, and for us. He was willing to listen while I validated his very real and legitimate feelings, and then while we explained some of the reasons why it was so hard to communicate with him in the past. We talked about the fun things we want to do, and what we missed about him not being at home. He was also willing to speak up to everyone at the group session tonight and they all applauded him for taking a step towards getting serious about his recovery. He was pretty much beaming. I'm so proud of him (and yes, he heard me say that at least three times.)

 This has been the hardest and longest three weeks of my life (and his as well).

Hoping the next update is as good if not better.